Stretched his legs and scratched his head
Thought, “Pretty soon we’re gonna all be dead,
I might as well start some mischief.”
He’d been laying ‘round the house all day,
Old lady working trying to make some pay
She came home but didn’t have nothing to say
She loved the old rascal anyway.
The night was young and the Cat was hot
He strolled his ass down to a little nightspot
He was looking for trouble and that’s what he got
And he didn’t have to look very far.
He had his eye on a certain girl
Might be the prettiest in this world
She had a guy and his name was Earl
He’d just as soon kill you as look at you.
They called her Celia the Pussycat
She wore an evening gown and a velvet hat
The kid had never seen a kitten like that
And he forgot all about the word caution
Now Scroungy Cat started circling round
Earl, he was busy in another part of town
But word spread quick with what was going down
And he headed to that lounge on the double
Earl found the Cat and his girl in bed
He pulled the trigger and it all went red
Someone yelled,
“Call the doctor, ‘cause I think they’re dead!”
“Call the doctor, ‘cause I think they’re dead!”
All you could hear was cryin’ and moanin’
Old Doctor Peebus came through the door
Saw our Scroungy Cat sprawled out on the floor
He shook his head and pronounced, “No more,
That boy done breathed his last.”
But Scroungy Cat wasn’t your average pet.
He jumped up and lit another cigarette
He said, “Go call a cab to take me to the vet,
I still got some more lives left in me, yet!”
Now, the Cat was kicking but he looked pretty pale.
The cops came and carried Earl off to jail.
Now, ladies and gents, that’s the end of my tale,
And, I’m afraid there ain’t no moral.
