OMG

is the Original Music Group, an open mike for singer-songwriters to perform their own compositions held every Friday from 6-8pm and later at La Divina, a cool little Italian cafe at the corner of Perkins and South Acadian. I participate several times monthly and am the scheduled host every first Friday. I'll have to miss my hosting next Friday as we'll be out of the country, but I played last night accompanied by my dear friend, Larry Bradford, a black Vietnam veteran who plays djembe. We did three songs, my newest "I'm All Right" which is basically directed toward X, who may never hear it, "Runaway Train Wreck" which I wrote and recorded at least 2 years ago but had never played for an audience, and "Free Man Running Around on Planet Earth," my 2nd newest complete song. I played my Martin acoustic tuned to Open D (D-A-D-A-A-D)  for the first two and my Swan acoustic with built in mic on "Free Man" tuned to Open G (D-G-D-G-G-D). Jane Kelley held my Galaxy S8+ so I could Go Live on Facebook and the recording came out pretty nicely. No sign of her listening but I'm motivated to keep working on solo and duet performances until I can get an electric group going, another thing that may never happen again.

Imaginary conversations

I caught myself having one a short while ago.

Her: So how are things going?

Me: The easiest way to find out would be to look at the posts on my Facebook page for the past few days. It's a little awkward making discreet "likes" and "loves" on significant things you post when I know you're not doing the same on mine, even though I've posted some things that are very meaningful to me during this time. I'm not jumping to conclusions about why you don't seem to be looking at anything I post but naturally I wonder what's going on with you.

Of course, this conversation isn't going to happen because she is not going to initiate it. I've pretty much decided I will not comment on anything she posts and I will avoid even seeing what she posts by not visiting her page, as I've been doing. I may never hear anything from her again, who knows? But I'm going to suck it up and wait until such time as she acknowledges I still exist.

Am I angry? Maybe a little, my feelings are certainly hurt. But I have no right to expect her to pay attention to what I'm doing, she's got plenty going on in her life and she takes care of her friends via social media, the way I take care of mine. If I'm not a total hypocrite, I will still practice unconditional love and acceptance of her to the best of my ability. And I'm not a total hypocrite- I'm doing my best to live according to my standards of love and ethics. Because that's how I want to live and I still think she's the best.

Reasons to be glad

I have many, one of which is driving a beautiful Porsche Macan. It's weird to feel sad while flying down the Interstate feeling cool at the same time.

Implants

I'm sitting in the patient chair at Richard Appleton's office looking at an xray photo of my 15 implants interacting with the world through my Galaxy S8+. Looking forward to going home and practicing for OMG tonight. Funeral for the murder-suicide son is tomorrow.

Thoughts about the polarization of American voters

You and I, Paige, have been friends through Pet Sounds for quite awhile now and I've always liked you and considered you to be an interesting, well educated, passionate, literate woman with good musical taste. I browsed past this post the other day and afterwards thought about it, then decided I would offer a different viewpoint. For the record, I am a progressive leaning moderate. Many of you who think the President is doing a great job would call me a "snowflake" or maybe a "libtard." I don't care what anyone calls me, I laugh about the insults.

But I don't consider people who support Trump to be stupid (of course there are some stupid people on all sides). I don't yell at, insult, or get into pointless Facebook arguments with supporters of the Pres. Like other liberals I respect, it's important to me to understand the issues that drive people on the other side of the fence. It's not hard to see that people who voted for and support Trump have some very legitimate complaints about both Democrats and Republicans of the mainstream.

Additionally, Hillary was the worst possible candidate the Democrats could have shoved on their loyal party followers. She really is an arrogant elitist. I wish she'd shut up. Her people were absolutely convinced they were going to win and they didn't listen to anyone who raised concerns about her or her campaign.

Now, me and my snowflake friends are patriotic and believe the USA must have a strong military and defend itself against foreign threats. We don't believe in "open borders," that idea is ridiculous. My ancestors were Confederate slave holders and I don't believe it's right to call Robert E. Lee a traitor. I was brought up to admire him.

But the main thing I want to say is, it's sad to me that there isn't a true dialogue between supporters of Trump and reasonable people on the left and center-left (if you would humor me that it's possible there are some). My next door neighbor is a very intelligent and good person. Our families are very close and would do pretty much anything for one another. He believes Trump is doing a fine job and doesn't see anything seriously wrong with his personality or adjustment. We have friendly discussions about our views and, though I disagree with many of his perceptions, I still love the guy and his family.

It's too bad so much money is being made by media and commercial interests that don't want the severe polarization of the citizens of the USA to stop. They are working to keep both sides hating one another. Finally, I will add that not one liberal I know, even the ones who do what I don't do- yell, insult, post demeaning cartoons, post fraudulent "news" pieces etc- not one of them thinks the government should take away the guns from responsible adults or prevent same from buying them. I have 3 adult daughters one of whom carries. I'd be happy for the other two to pack, as well. It's a jungle out there if you're female. I've thought about buying a gun but so far am not convinced I really need one. There are other ways to protect oneself that are less dangerous to the owner and his people. But that's just my opinion. I'm happy for any sane adult with a clean record to own as many as they want.

So, if anyone wants to make fun of me or other snowflakes, have at it. I don't take stuff like that personally. That's all, folks. Except I may post this on my own page to make a statement in favor of civil dialogue and mutual respect.

Personal growth

The emotional episode I'm in the midst of is an opportunity to reach a deeper level of surrender and acceptance. I feel more alive and I'm mindful of being mindful. I wrote this to her and myself: Nothing has changed significantly except the understanding we exchanged and the effects of digesting it. I'm all right. It's all good. And I'm still feeling very sad.

Update on my Facebook post about the tragic murder-suicide case

Twenty hours and counting with no response. I hope I stop obsessing before too long but what will be, will be. I believe X has enough going on in her life that she doesn't need to be tracking mine. I will continue to stay clear on social media except if one of her Instagram posts comes up in my newsfeed. I may even let that go by without a response. I sent her one purple heart when I went to bed last night. That's the last communication I'll send until such time as she communicates with me.

Neediness and the tragedy of a murder-suicide

There's a woman I know through Facebook I will call Person X. This is not someone I knew growing up- it's someone I met some years ago through Facebook at the suggestion of an old friend. She accepted my friend request and I checked out her page. This was during the time I was still struggling with whether I could stay in my marriage (which I did and is now much improved in many ways).

I was immediately struck by what a cool person X is. She lived in a city I've only visited once a very long time ago and she was married with a child and a career, so there was little likelihood we could ever meet much less engage in a relationship, should either of us ever wish to. That idea seemed quite far-fetched, of course. She posted on many interesting subject, music, sex, politics, pop culture and facilitated high quality discussions of a sort seldom seen on Facebook. X wasn't devastatingly beautiful in the few photos she posted but her intelligence and personality came through and I found her very attractive.As I got to know her via Facebook, it became more and more evident that she was even more than I thought initially- very intelligent, remarkably intuitive and insightful, caring and loyal to her friends, an awesome mother, a fierce advocate for oppressed people of every type. She was a survivor of abuse and, like me, a therapist who worked with PTSD. It turned out she was quite  a bit older than I perceived her to be, maybe 10 years younger than I am.

I'm going to make a long story short here and skip over a lot of specifics. The gist is, I'm a perennially needy heart when it comes to women and X is the best, the superlative woman of the women I've ever met according to my own personal, subjective standards and my perception of her.

Amazingly, X and I had a short and meaningful Facebook affair that ended because it was clearly impossible for it to go anywhere. We live a thousand miles apart and we were both committed to our marriages.  The precipitating break up factor was I couldn't deal with all of this emotionally at the time, so that was that. But I held onto an unlikely hope that somehow we could end up having a chance at a real relationship.

I've known many, many women in my life and a number of them were outstanding in the ways I love women to be. I've had my chances with several fabulous ladies and I'm still on very good terms with all of them. I know other remarkable women who find me attractive and have let me in to their worlds in every way except physically, which is a line I don't care to cross because it eventually leads to sadness.

Continuing the story, I maintained what was by all appearances a friendly Facebook relationship with X. Our relationship was to me, ambiguous, because that's the way we left it all those years back. A week or so ago I had a series of conversations and emails with X. I opened up to her about the place she still held in my heart and I hoped she held those feelings for me. But she didn't. She said she cared and that I'm an important person to her, which I believe based on everything I know about her.

I took it in and wrote her a long tribute that ended by saying I was good with being "just friends." I acknowledged being sad about it but downplayed how sad I truly feel. The impact this had on me is surprisingly intense. I'm in grief about it. And, although X said she wanted to maintain our friendship, it's become clear to me over the past few days she has withdrawn from me further than before I forced the issue with her. I know this because she has not responded overtly to a series of very meaningful posts over the last four days, most notably, the Note I published on the anniversary of Anne's death. And there have been quite a few others. On the day I posted about Anne, X commented on a very cute profile photo I put up, me around age 6 from a school photo. I did have a Messenger conversation with her in which she said things were great with her. I lied a bit and said they were also great with me. They are but I'm suffering right now over X. I posted discreet responses to a few of her posts during this time as I would have the whole time since the end of our whatever it was. So something's going on with X. She's ignoring my social media presence.

I can take this like a man. I've gotten the hint and withdrawn from her the way she's withdrawn from me. I'm not going to stalk her online. I'm not going to whine or complain. Well, maybe a little inside of myself. I'm not going to jump to conclusions about what's going on with X. I'm going to respect her and keep her in my heart as always. I know I've put her up on a pedestal in my imagination as an ideal love object and that she has no responsibility or obligation for that. But I can't help but having my feelings hurt somewhat. Rational or not, moral or not, ridiculous or not, I'm grieving the loss of my wish to be close to her.

Maybe sometime in the future things will change and she'll want to be closer, probably not much closer, though, if any. (Sorry, but I never give up hope when there's any possibility left alive.) I know I'm one of life's winners, I'm incredibly fortunate in more ways than I'll attempt to list here. I can accept the situation with her and keep on going. It's OK. But right now I'm very sad about it.

Oh, yes, the suicide part. I got a call from a very successful attorney who has consulted me over many years about a host of problems in his family and close relationships. One of his sons, a brilliant adult who once had a promising career that feel apart due to amphetamine abuse and psychosis, committed suicide after killing his wife, both by gunshot. The couple were both very dysfunctional people. The Dad texted me and I offered my immediate support. He called and we talked. He expressed his appreciation and told me he loved me. After I composed myself, I told him I love him, too. I posted about this on Facebook in a dignified, caring, and courageous manner. Many dear friends have expressed their support and concern. But three hours later, not X. Has she seen my post? If not, will it pass beneath her radar. I'm fairly certain she has "unfollowed" me.  But it's OK. Humility is the beginning of wisdom and I seek to be wise. Let me still love X and not take offense.  Let me forgive her and everyone, as I want to be forgiven. Selah.

The World's conflicts endure because we're all acting selfishly on oversimplifications.

The nature of emotion, perception and language is to simplify complex sensory input and process it so we can make decisions critical to survival. To oversimplify here, over the course of evolution, we've developed the powerful tendency to identify with our social group and see it as 'good' and non-members as 'bad.' (See opening of 2001: A space odyssey). All this is necessary and unavoidable. Yet, we also developed the amazing ability to step back and reflect consciously, allowing us to be aware of the oversimplification and to override it when it's wise and appropriate.

Listening to "Eat my cloud" after all this time.

After the fairly horrible experience I had recording up in Maryland with Jon Brayton (aka Mystr Treefrog) and having him trash me brutally afterwards, he and I have made amends. I even decided, despite my dissatisfaction with how he produced my original songs, I would finance the manufacture of a limited edition vinyl LP. He has done some legwork on how to do this and I sent him $600 by PayPal to spend as needed getting the project going.

Today, I got around to the task of listening to the original CD to give my input on how the songs could be ordered within the parameters of a standard 33 1/3 vinyl album. I took notes as I listened. My notes and the Messenger text I sent Jon follow below:

 Me: Heading to my car CD in hand

 Me: I didn't like the sound in my car so I moved into my studio and played the CD through the PA speakers. That was a lot better. I made notes on the songs as I played through. A lot of memories came up. Prior to this, I've only listened to the songs on the CD including my own a relatively few times since we recorded it. I enjoyed it this time. I'm going to paste my raw notes (no pun intended but my brain likes to do that) into this message, then go back and think about the order of songs. Whatever I think, I will be happy for you to have the last word. Any disappointment I've had about the way the CD came out are resolved for me. The quality of the music is extremely good, even if I would have gone for a different effect on some things. Everyone can't always get their way. You've always said we could be proud of it and I agree.

Teeth of the Wind Vocal is pretty good. Don't hear any glaring bad notes. Background harmony is nice. Bass is not as prominent or clear as I would have liked it.

Put U Thru Mandolin intro. Hilarious raunchy assed vocal. Deanna is the shit. I'm not on the track. Pretty strong. Funny laugh at end.

Biscuit in the Jesus Room. Jon wants to cut it. It has a similar flow as Goddess. A very fine song, well done. I don't play on it. Almost sound likes "fucking up a storm" on one chorus. I like the discordant last notes.

The Goddess Who Dances. Strong intro that sounds like "Roam." Groove is pretty strong. I don't hear the signature open guitar chords that define the song for me. Vocal is actually OK, I don't hear any horrible notes, although it sounds a bit thin. I hear my anxiety in the shaky spots. I can't hear any subtleties in my voice. Oh, well. I like my vocal at the end pretty well: "Madly, madly..."

Time to Go Home. Music starts pretty strong. Vocal has pretty good expression. Deanna does a good job of following my melodic journey and we sound in tune to me. Wah-wah licks are pretty fair.

I Got Frenz I like this song a lot. The vocal is very good. Keep it rockin', bro. Guitar and bass have plenty of power. Quote from Lucy in the Sky cuts it. Some nice double stop bends in there. I remember having trouble getting right with the guitar solo. But it came out nicely. Definitely one of our best tracks for my ears. Should have been big on underground radio. Maybe it's not too late. I seem to have gotten warmed up after the guitar solo. ABS rating is 99.

Ubiquitous ID (pronounced "id.") Intro will be cut. It's almost like a separate song. It is a separate song. This was always my very favorite track. I have to admit I play the shit out of it. Deanna is the shit, did I already mention that? Love MTF's vocal- yes, that's you alright. Riffs are Cream-like except funkier. Great composition, James. Lyrics are really, really good. Brutally so. World class. This should also have been a hit on the dark web.

Bed of Hot Coals Sultry Latin groovy intro. Another very good composition. Tres cool bass line. Did I mention... I believe I did. Sexaphone is saxy. Guitar solo is OK except a little bit stiff, despite some crazy bends. It's that anxiety again. I was fighting it every second and never actually relaxed and just cut it loose except on Ubiq ID.

Impress Me. This is my kind of song. Punk Power Pop like a sophisticated version of the Ramones. Couldn't relax playing it, either. Did I even end up on it? Does it matter? The song sounds great. OK, there I am at the end. Not bad actually. I must have been drunk and on speed.

Mystr Treefrog Roadtrip. Hot rock & roll usually works pretty well. Listen to that, my voice is expressive here. I think I was actually having fun until I got in trouble for acting crazy around Deanna. I sure did like her, though. I hope I didn't come across as a sexual harasser or something. I thought silly was kind of the way people acted around there but I must have read the signals wrong or something. My best vocal by several kilometers. No complaints about this track.
I'll check back later this evening on song order.  Don't fret over anything I said. I'm just being honest.

Me: Here's one way it could be done. Check my figures.

SIDE 1

 Mystr Treefrog Road Trip 3:25
 Bed of Hot Coals 4:10
 Time To Go Home 2:29
 Impress Me 3:45
 Goddess Who Dances 3:28

 =15m + 137s = 17:17 of music

 Side 2

I Got Frenz 5:12
Ubiquitous Id (minus I disagree) 5:29
Put U thru 3:16
Teeth of the Wind 3:43

 =16m + 100s = 17:40 of music

My most incredible true story of losing track of things

Mary Lou and I went to the Salad Shop today for lunch as we often do. One of the sweet ladies who works there and waits on us regularly came to our table with the wallet I lost last Monday and had no idea what had happened to it. Many years ago, I went to visit a patient of mine at Orleans Parish Prison who had been arrested for attempting to assassinate the Sheriff of LaFourche Parish with a remotely detonated bomb. I parked my red Honda Prelude on the street in front of the prison and walked into the building to the security portal. Reaching for ID, I realized with dread my wallet wasn't in my pocket. In a flash, I remembered where it was- sitting on top of my car in plain view (black wallet/red paint) of anyone passing by. I ran back to the car. About 10-minutes had passed and there was my wallet, just waiting to be snatched. Needless to say, I snatched it while saying a prayer of thanks to the protector of my charmed life.

My charmed life

If something unexpected should happen and I die, no matter how bad it was, I hope people who care about me will not lose sight of how fortunate and meaningful everything up to that point was. Dying is just one moment in the long thread of a life.

Final version

Announcement: I am going to attempt a short break from Facebook and Instagram... ...my two social media vices of choice, so I can focus on getting some important things done having to do with our upcoming vacation, major retirement decisions etc. I say attempt because I really am addicted to the positive reinforcement of social media. I can only go a very short before I feel a strong compulsion to open the apps and see what's going on. When I look up, big chunks of time have gone "poof!" Even one day without checking Facebook is an iffy proposition. In addition, I'm distractible and I don't multitask very well (that may be the same thing).

So, wish me luck and you very close friends who follow my stuff closely, don't fret, I'm fine. Seriously, I may not even be able to stay away for an entire day; but, if you don't see my usual outpouring of posts and comments for a day or two, it's all good.

 PS. Be good while I'm away. I'm leaving the fluffy gray cat in charge and he's a badass.

 PPS. If I don't reply to the kind messages of support some of you sweet people will leave as comments, I will when I check back.

Time for a break (first draft)

Some of my friends find they have to take breaks from social media or quit completely because the posts and comments of other people distress and offend them. I see what they see but I'm able to avoid and ignore most of that stuff. Others of us find ourselves spending inordinate amounts of time staring at and typing into our phones or devices, whether we are enjoying the activity or not. I do enjoy social media most of the time. However, the little doses of positive reinforcement we get are addictive; and. the truth is, I'm hooked. The problem is, even though much good comes from it, difficulty keeping the amount of time spent on it contained often keeps me from engaging productively in other important aspects of my life. I bet you're surprised I'm saying that. But it's true. Without going into a long explanation, I am going to attempt a short break from Facebook and Instagram, my two vices of choice, so I can focus on getting some things done. I say attempt because I really am addicted to these things. I can only go a short time before I have a compulsion, i.e., a strong urge to open the apps and see what's going on. Poof- I'm drawn in and the when I look up, chunks of time have been consumed. Going one day without checking Facebook is an iffy proposition. Why not just check and post on some sort of schedule? Because that's a lot of trouble and I don't do things halfway very well. So, don't worry. I'm perfectly fine and this is a positive idea. I may not even be able to do it but; if you don't see my usual outpouring of posts and comments for a day or two, it's all good. And if you need to get in touch, message me. Later, my friends, be good while I'm away.

Facebook post 6.17.2018 on my Dad's politeness and comment by a sweet lady

Polite goes a long way with me. My Dad was polite and respectful to everyone, not just my Mom, whom he adored. During my last visit when he was fatally ill, I assisted Dad shaving. I can hear his voice now, "Please hand me the shaving cream, Owen. Please, hand me the razor, Owen..." Comment by Martha Rarig I will always treasure the memory of the first time we visited your parents. Bob and I took them to the restaurant of their choice - some steak house. We enjoyed the food, conversation and most of all the visit with your parents. Who knew it would soon be tragedy for your Dad. He fell soon after we were there. So glad we saw them at their best - and they were the best not withstanding their age. Your Mom's memory was fantastic, better then than mine today!!

June 17, 2018

Every so often Father's Day falls on my Mom's birthday. June 17, 1984, my oldest daughter's first day in our world, was one of those times. So today when Father's Day and Mom's and Jenny's birthday all converge is pretty special to me. Every child deserves to have great parents but not every child gets them. I'm one of the fortunate ones who had great parents. Mom and Dad were modest people. They were devoted to one another and to their children. Their love for me and my two older sisters was never in doubt. Unlike me, they always stayed between the lines of responsibility and morality. I'm fortunate my excursions outside the lines didn't do me in but that's another story for another time and place.

I have friends whose parents were the opposite of mine, selfish, irresponsible, mean-spirited, abusive, or absent altogether by choice, and yet they somehow developed and navigate life with a moral compass embodying values like those of my parents. I'm in awe of you who've succeeded in spite of your parents. I think about you on Father's Day and Mother's Day and am inspired to persevere and carry on the struggle for good in this difficult world.

Any success I may have had owes more to Dad and Mom than I can calculate. The daughter who is named after Mom is, along with her two younger sisters, the greatest reward of all my good fortune. She's proud to carry her grandmother's name, Virginia, a name that has been passed down in my Mom's family through generations of strong, caring women, and I could not be more proud of her. Happy Birthday, Bunny Rabbit! I love you so much!

Today has more personal meaning than I could ever express. I miss you, Dad and Mom. Remembering you makes me smile with affection and gratitude. You're in my heart every day of my life. How fortunate I am to be your son.

So, love and best wishes to you men out there who do justice to the word father, to my friends who, like me, miss your good father, to my friends whose partner is a good father, and especially to my friends for whom Father's Day has a different meaning because you had a father who fell so far short of the mark.  To each one of you-

Happy Father's Day

The pain (comments about the Rolling Stones' "Tell me")

Back in the dim past, even the Rolling Stones wrote sincere sounding songs about being dumped and begging for another chance. In their case, that phase didn't last for long.

I forgot to mention, I really like listening to this song, it's right up my alley, the one behind Heartbreak Hotel... The truth, though, is I might have had those thoughts but, I've never begged someone to take me back. I just took the pain while realizing I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. I was never vindictive, either. And my respect and affection didn't change. If I care, I'm not going to stop caring because we went separate ways. I'm sure it would have been different had any of them seriously mistreated me, or if I discovered in time they weren't who I thought they were; but, it was never like that.

On love

In response to a friend's question, "What's the best thing you can do for someone you love," I came up with these thoughts.

"Most of us realize loving someone is not about possessing that person, or finding them irresistibly attractive, or desperately wanting them in your life, or needing them in some other way. To love someone, your friend, your lover, your child, anyone, is to perceive the person as valuable beyond price. As an attitude, you simply want the best for the person who is the object of your love and you respect their choices of what's best, whether or not that lines up with what you would want for yourself or what you think the person should do. In practice, your actions reflect and affirm your love, encouraging the person to bring out their best and to strive for what they believe is best; and, you always hope this brings them the good life they deserve."

"I see it as an ideal we can strive for. No one, certainly not me, can do it "perfectly" but we can be mindful and do our best, if one believes in the ideal."

Mission to Kansas (written June 1, 2018, completed June 11)

I've spent the past week (Sunday, May 27 through Friday, June 1) in Overland Park, Kansas assisting Mary Lou's older half-brother, Dan Manion, a 72 year old, divorced, retired ER physician who was in a rehabilitation hospital due to falling at home and injuring his left leg. Dan is childless and has residual impairment from a scuba diving accident 25 yers ago when he suffered decompression sickness (aka "the bends") and was hospitalized in Coral Gables, Florida for treatment. Dan has only one close friend, Sue, an 80-year old nurse and great-grandmother who still works 30 hours weekly. When Dan was being treated in Florida after the accident, Mary Lou, Jane Kelley, Sue and I each spent a week or more visiting Dan in the hospital.

When Mary Lou got a call from Patty about Dan's hospitalization, the news alarmed me greatly. Dan's treatment following the fall at his condominium had gone poorly due to diagnostic errors, a bad reaction to Buspar, and his pre-existing major medical conditions including diabetes and mild to moderate congestive heart failure. Sue was doing her best to be a support for Dan but was stressed by concern on top of her work and family responsibilities. Dan's difficulties coincided with one of Mary Lou's sisters and another sister's daughter having mental illness episodes requiring family intervention. Under the circumstances, I was the family member best qualified and most available to fly up and help.

I always liked Dan and felt compassion for him and I'd wanted to visit him before I heard about his current plight.  He was stable when I arrived but with a host of serious medical problems including a severe bed sore, major swelling of his right leg (the left leg was the one he injured in the tall), severe anxiety that impeded his ability to cooperate with treatment, congestive heart failure, and borderline kidney failure. He had made only slight progress in rehab regaining the ability to stand and walk.  I spent a great deal of time talking to him and getting to know Sue, who was very grounded and clearly doing everything she could to facilitate his treatment and recovery.

While there, my talents and skills proved useful in several ways. I brought Dan's notebook computer from his condo so he could pay bills and have access to email. I looked into the medication reaction and discovered Dan had been given a combination of 3 drugs, Ultram (tramadol), doxepin and Buspar (buspirone), all potent serotonin agonists. Given his symptoms, I concluded he experienced serotonin toxicity. I discussed this with Dan, who agreed, and passed the hypothesis along to his physicians. Sue and I visited two skilled nursing facilities and selected one, Tallgrass Creek, due to its overall high ratings and our favorable observations during the visit. Dan concurred and was moved there successfully the last full day of my visit (Friday, June 1).  I left Overland Park with a sense of accomplishment and flew home.

Sadly, as I write this on June 11, Dan is no longer with us in this life. Thursday night, Mary Lou called Dan and they had a long and meaningful conversation. I spoke to him and his last words to me were, "It will be a long haul." The next day, his body reached a tipping point and began to crash. Patty flew up immediately and Kayte went the next day. Dan was alive but at death's door by this time. Kayte sat with him that night and, after some harrowing agitation and discomfort, he became calm and died at 2:30am CST. The post prior to this one is the obituary I was asked to write.

Daniel Joseph Manion, MD

Dr. Dan Manion of Overland Park, physician, Vietnam veteran, loving son, big brother, and uncle, and caring friend, died June 10, 2018 due to complications of an injury he recently suffered in a fall at his home.

Dan was born in Norfolk, Nebraska March 22, 1946, the only child of his mother, Jodine's first marriage. Jodine remarried to James "Jim" Kelley and Dan was adopted by Jim, whom Dan thereafter considered to be his father. Four beautiful sisters came along and Dan was warmly devoted to and fiercely protective of each one.

 After graduating from high school and college, Dan served in the US Army including a tour of duty stationed in Danang, Republic of Vietnam. After receiving his honorable discharge and several military awards including a Bronze Star Medal, Dan completed his degree in Medicine from University of Kansas School of Medicine, Kansas City on May 19, 1975. Dan went on to serve as an emergency room physician at hospitals and clinics in the Kansas City area for many years prior to his retirement.

 Dan was an avid photographer and traveler and a skilled scuba diver. In 1994, he set the world record for a deep ocean dive breathing compressed air, descending to 155 meters (509 feet) near Nassau, Bahamas, a record that stood until 1999. Although Dan was a careful diver who consulted with leading experts to plan his record dive, he later suffered severe decompression sickness ascending from a dive and underwent extended hospital care and rehabilitation. Dan recovered significantly but experienced residual spinal cord injury that limited his physical activity. However, he returned to work in the ER successfully through his retirement. Dan also took joy each Spring in assisting many older people in the community with income tax preparation, free of charge.

Dan was preceded in death by his mother and father, and by his biological father. He is survived by his four sisters and their spouses, Mary Lou Kelley (Owen Scott), Jane Kelley, Patty Ken (Jim), and Kayte Soldner (Woody), nephews, Jack and Kevin Ken, nieces Virginia, Lauren and Maureen Scott, Samantha and Alexandra Soldner, and Katherine Ken, and his devoted friend of many years, Sue Funk, who was there with Dan throughout his hospitalization and subsequent treatment after his recent accident.

Dan was a man of sterling moral character, of great courage and generosity, and of deep compassion. He sought and achieved excellence in every area of his endeavors, setting an example of true caritas and making a difference for many others in many ways. Those of us who had the privilege to know Dan will cherish his memory and hold him in our hearts always.