Forced choice

 I've been off balance and indecisive for several days. Intellectually I believe I need to go for the sixth procedure on my left eye. However, I have felt reluctant to call Bascom-Palmer to request the surgery.  I intended to call on Monday but that morning I managed to yank my MacBook off a table in our bedroom with my headphones in such a manner that it fell onto the open screen and keyboard side. The screen cracked and that was it for the display. As I type this, it occurs to me that is analogous to being blind. I then spent an inordinate amount of time attempting to make the broken computer usable. I had some success hooking it up to an external monitor Mary Lou had on hand but the cost/benefit ratio was very poor. Finally, I took Mary Lou up on her offer of letting me use her spare MacBook upon which I'm typing this post. LastPass makes it possible for me to log in to all of my accounts and I'm back in business.

The past week or so I've been intensively practicing the old fiddle tune Whiskey before breakfast on my Gibson acoustical guitar. The first time I heard the song it was played by banjo virtuoso Roger Sprung in the early 1970s at the Galax (Virginia) Bluegrass Festival. I was fascinated by the rolling chord changes and the endless possibilities for creating melodic variations. My second year of grad school in Morgantown, West Virginia I moved into a house shared with two Behavior Analysis students, Ann something and Chip Brooks. 

My left eye

 I was able to have a telemedicine consultation on Tuesday with Dr. William Smiddy of Bascom-Palmer Eye Institute in Miami. The appointment focused on whether another surgery to remove the cyclitic membrane behind the artificial lens in my left eye is warranted and what the other options are. I learned from him that cyclitic membrane is composed of scar tissue from the 5 surgical procedures I've undergone since February 2019. Like the other doctors, he believes it unlikely I'll recover useful vision if the membrane is removed. However, the membrane could be removed and would be followed by injection of silicone oil The alternative is to inject silicone oil into the eye to create IOC. without removing the membrane. Of note, I never realized silicone oil is a clear fluid. Despite all the issues he brought up, Dr. Smiddy is willing to do the surgery which would require me to travel to Miami, of course.  

Initially, Dr. Smiddy believed my interest in surgery was for cosmetic preservation of the eyeball; but, I explained that my first goal was simply to prevent the eyeball from collapsing and hopefully restore IOC and a secondary goal was recover of vision. I decided to give myself 3 days to decide on whether to have the membrane removed. At this moment, I'm leaning in the direction of doing it. Two reasons: 1) After all the surgeries I've had, why give up without trying one more time. 2) My retina is attached and I can perceive objects at the left periphery when they are backlit. I believe it's possible I would have some ability to see if the scar tissue were removed.

What I said to Tom H

Tom: Congratulations Owen Scott III, you have uncovered yet another widely distributed news piece that will have absolutely no sway on the November elections.  Not a single vote will change because of this.  And it's not because it's not true.  It's because people don't care.  The people who vote for Biden are doing so because they hate Trump.  The people who vote for Trump are doing so because they hate the social discourse in America today.  The pandemic is such a crap shoot, nobody will vote based on how Trump handled it or whether he lied about it.

Me: You may be right about this news not changing votes although your statement about why people are voting either way is way oversimpfied and inaccurate. I'm voting for Biden because I believe critical issues of public health, the environment, the economy, national security, racism, corruption of government, the rule of law, wealth inequity and dishonest sowing of fear and division for political gain at the expense of "a more perfect Union" must be addressed in the near future or our system of government and way of life will be damaged irreparably. Biden offers hope for a return to rational leadership that could stave off the unfolding disaster. I certainly don't expect to change any minds by posting about Trump shamelessly causing 1000s of deaths by his cynical lies. The reason I did is that I would betray my values by remaining silent on matters of such extreme importance. I'm sure you believe I'm going off the deep end of alarmism, so you may want to unfollow me if you don't like me speaking out because I'm going to keep doing it until the election.

The verdict

After an extensive evaluation that included a look by Dr. Shyamanga Borooah, one of the retina specialists  at Shiley, and culminated in a scan with ultrasound biomicroscopy (UBM), Dr. Weinreb concluded there's an abnormal growth he described as a membrane that is blocking the structures that control the flow of fluid in that eye. It could be addressed with surgery but the prognosis for restoring vision would still be poor. It has been developing for some time, in Dr. Weinreb's opinion, and would have been difficult to detect without UBM. As Dr. Fivgas told me, the eye will collapse will if untreated. 

Dr. Weinreb strongly recommended I consult someone at Bascom-Palmer Eye Institute in Miami. Given that a difficult surgery is unlikely to restore useful vision, I asked him whether I should just have it replaced by a cosmetic eye. His reply: "That's a very good question you should ask a retina specialist."