Collecting my thoughts

I had the idea yesterday to go through all the posts in this blog and copy them into a set of documents organizing them by theme or subject.

Reflecting on the damaging effects of fake news

Sad to say, lots of money is being made by pushing lies and misinformation to people who are hooked on having their buttons pushed.

Feedback on Laura's Love Letters

Hi, Laura, I hope things are well.  Good luck on your rendezvous with the oral surgeon.

As I'm sure you can tell, I'm taking your ms seriously. Having gotten through almost half, it seems like a good time to collect my thoughts and give you some impressions. The unusual way I'm reading, editing as I go, is something I've never done with a long, unfamiliar manuscript. It's like an exercise program for my brain and that's a good thing. I certainly wouldn't be doing it if I didn't feel your work is worth the effort.

Overview: I think Love Letters has potential to find a publisher and reach an audience out there. You've created an intriguing and complicated, multigenerational romantic story and laid it out quite effectively which already has taken a massive effort on your part. The plot unfolds with a sense of inexorable destiny, steadily building dramatic interest and suspense that's lightened by the foibles of the characters. I'm particularly wondering about the role Ren will play in the outcome, a good indication of reader engagement. The personalities of your characters are developed capably so they seem real and individual. The most important characters, Lauren and Ben, are believably within the normal range of American society so that they will (I think) appeal to a wide segment of your target audience of what I presume is mostly female readers. The paranormal element of dreams and voices that transcend time/space boundaries and work to move the plot forward is written very well and, again, should appeal to many contemporary readers. To summarize, your draft is solid in critical areas, at least to this reader.

As of this moment, my opinion is that the keys to a successful reception (story reference intentional) are the quality of the writing itself and the appeal of the main characters. Writing quality is whereI've focused my attention and the editorial work I've done surely has conveyed to you how I think the current draft can metamorphosize from caterpillar to butterfly, in short, by a process of painstakingly scrutinizing and refining every sentence until each one flows with as much lyrical impact as possible. At least that's the ideal. I will be expecting a brief pat on the back in the Acknowledgements when it comes out in hardback.

Chapter 23 is a critical juncture in the story. I wrote some questions about the plot that came up for me in comments on the attached document. The most important one (and the only one I'd like you to clarify for me) is what Ben meant when he said he could lose his business toward the end of Chapter 23. Probably my narrow focus on the trees has caused me to lose sight of the forest a little. Some issues I pointed out in comments include; 1) whether you want the omniscient narrator's speech to incorporate southern idioms and 2) your tendency to repeat certain words in close succession as is characteristic of a raw draft. 

The most important substantive concern I have right now is Ben's likeability. Several times when he's pouring on the charm with the ladies he has struck me as either trying too hard or fake. I pointed these out in comments. That may be just me or it could be you're intentionally writing his character that way. Real human beings have character flaws as do well-conceived fictional characters. I'm assuming you want the reader to like both Lauren and Ben and to wish for their romantic relationship to succeed. His insecurities about Lauren and his falling into a trap of deceiving her are realistic and compelling. Thinking out loud, trying too hard isn't a bad thing, if in fact I'm not just overanalyzing here. 

Trying to put my finger on my concerns about the Ben, I think I'd like him better if he toned down his efforts at charm one notch. This is just one person's perception halfway through a long story so my reaction to Ben is merely a data point, an FYI. I don't want you to say anything to me about it before I finish the entire ms. I have no concerns at all about Lauren- kudos to the author for creating her. Ren, too.

I think that covers everything I have. Anything else will be in the comments within the chapters I'm attaching.  If you'll explain to me about Ben possibly losing his business, I'll get back to the manuscript and carry on. Of course, I'll be glad to hear and discuss anything else you may want to say. I'm excited about the prospects for Love Letters to succeed artistically and to achieve your personal goals in writing it. 

Yours truly,

Owen

Better this way (title of a song I wrote)

We're often tempted, when we learn something about the difficult situation of a friend or family member, to toss out simple advice about what the person should do. Any serious student of human psychology and behavior learns that telling someone what to do to solve a complicated tangle of problems is usually, for several reasons, not a good idea. For one thing, the person offering the answers doesn't have to live with their unintended consequences. Even someone who, like me, has devoted long years of my life to understanding and helping people comes to accept that many times all we can do is care and affirm that we believe in the person, knowing he or she can and will find their path.

Five hundred and sixty-six posts

Including this one, that's how many posts are in this blog. I suppose I'm achieving my goal of leaving a record of my thoughts and activities for anyone who is interested. I reviewed a few of them just now and felt fairly satisfied with them. I still like my concept of Qualitative Attachment to Identity (QAI). Perhaps I'll return to and write more about it one of these days. Or not.

Eye surgery #5

I went in at 6am this morning to undergo the fifth procedure on my left eye since I was diagnosed with detached retina in January 2019. In the first procedure, Dr. George Fivgas cleared scar tissue, reattached the retina and injected silicone oil into the eyeball to help keep the retina in place during initial healing. The second procedure was a lens replacement by Dr. Ehrlich. The third time was to remove the silicone oil and replace it with a gas bubble that would dissolve on its own after 8-12 weeks. The retina detached during this one and had to be cleaned up and reattached again. At the end of the 12 weeks, the bubble dissolved and the retina detached once again. Procedure 4 was a redo of this first surgery and the one today was a redo of surgery #2.  The hope is that it will be different this time- the gas bubble will dissolve and the retina will remain attached. Once more, I am under instructions to keep my face pointed toward the floor so the gas bubble will hold the retina to the back of my eyeball where it belongs.  Thus, I have been sitting in the massage chair we purchased for the first surgery with my face pointed down. It's a bit of a nuisance but I'm doing it.

Recording myself performing my original songs on video

Getting a strong video recording of a song with my methodology isn't a simple matter. Besides creating a satisfactory backup track (several days of recording work minimum), I have to set up the amp, PA, vocal processor, my Macbook, and a camera (currently my Android Galaxy S8+ smartphone), choose a guitar, set the tone and effects on the guitar and amp, get the lighting adjusted satisfactorily (check out the harsh and unflattering light produced by a bright light right over my head in some of my recent music posts), make any number of trial videos starting and stopping the recording myself for each one, check each take for lighting and sound, make adjustments of the guitar, the amp, the backing track and the lighting until I'm happy with them, and record a final performance version with balanced sound and few or no mistakes. When I have a satisfactory video, I then edit it to remove the extraneous footage before and after the song. All of this single-handedly. I spent several hours today working on a do over of this old song of mine I recently posted on IGTV.  The one currently posted is just ok- it falls short of realizing what I know the song can be. This take started well but still had a few fatal flaws. Perhaps the next take will be the one. 😎🎸🎶👌

Sunday service at First United Methodist Church

Many years have passed since we attended church at FUMC of Baton Rouge. We went faithfully when our children were young and I taught the Wesley Fellowship Sunday school class on a number of occasions. This Mother's Day morning, as I was making the bed and Mary Lou was out pressure washing the bricks of the back patio, the televised service from FUMC happened to come on the TV that was still on is our bedroom from watching CBS Sunday Morning earlier. We used to watch that show regularly, too. I listened to the sermon by the current minister and stayed tuned in through the communion service at the end of the broadcast. Reflecting on what I heard, my thought was I am thinking and living in accordance with the teachings of Jesus as I've learned them over many years of serious study. The words of Jesus spoken by the minister resonated with my understanding and, sad to say, clashed with what I understand of the practice of many Christians today. I was struck by this passage: "The path to life is narrow and few find it."

Updated predictions of US and 3 state deaths

Today (May 5) MIT-Sloan is predicting 113,214 total US COVID-19 deaths on June 1. IMHE changed its forecast drastically yesterday and now predicts 112,073 total US deaths on June 1. The predictions are nearly identical.

For Georgia, IMHE is now predicting 2914 deaths by June 1
For Georgia, MIT-S is now predicting 1515 deaths by June 1

For Florida, IMHE is now predicting 2504 deaths by June 1
For Florida, MIT-S is now predicting 2025 deaths by June 1


For Louisiana, IMHE is now predicting 2731 deaths by June 1
For Louisiana, MIT-S is now predicting 2238 deaths by June 1

Why MIT-S is so optimistic about Georgia I don't know. I do note MIT-S is now more optimistic than IMHE  on all four predictions.

The story of Midnight on Neptune

A song of mine that challenges my limited ability as a vocalist is Midnight on Neptune, a story about the first human space travelers to reach the cold, distant inhospitable 8th planet of our solar system. I'm not much of a singer but who else is there besides me to sing the songs I write? So, as I approach my 68th birthday I'm still striving to learn and improve as a singer. (I know- I should line up a good voice teacher. I actually contacted one not long ago but didn't hear back.)

On September 6, 2014, I created a Garageband project to record some chord changes and melodic ideas I had come up with through the "fooling around on my guitar" method that has produced most of the songs I've written over the years. I have any number of such rudimentary projects saved on various electronic media. I gave the track the whimsical name Midnight on Neptune, following another habit, giving a new song project a nonsensical name that it carries until such time as I develop a vocal melody and write lyrics. At that point, I change the name to something reflect the theme of the new song.

In this case, I left the track with just the rough sketch of a song and forgot about it for some four and a half years. In February of 2019, I revisited a number of my unfinished recording projects and took note of this one. As I found it, the pretty chord changes of Midnight on Neptune were realized via a relaxed folk-rock throwback drum loop, bass guitar, and three guitar tracks going for a bell-like sound texture reminiscent of the Byrds. Clearly, considerable work was needed to flesh out the musical concept.

As I considered working with this skeleton of a song, the inspiration struck me to write lyrics to go with the title. The first line I wrote was "It's midnight on Neptune and we're here all alone." The rest of the song followed.