Dream October 28 5am

It's the end of the first meeting of a therapy group I'm leading with 4 women. It has gone well. I'm speaking to a member who has an alcohol abuse problem. Laura Taylor and MLK are observing. In parting I say to the lady, "I know you don't want to be an unhealthy drinker." I think this is a way to encourage her to address the problem. ML asks me about using a certain book re recovery but I haven't heard of it. Laura asks about "seeing me" for a counseling session. "You mean now?" I ask. Her affect is upbeat and I take it there's something she's wants to discuss and get my input. I think it's best to keep it informal and suggest going to dinner, as it's 6pm. She agrees enthusiastically. We take my car because she came with someone else, maybe Raiford. She picks a restaurant called "Yogurt something" which I agree to although I had it in mind to go to a nice place. Somehow we end up at her family's house where she lives with her parents and sister as a single person. I observe a dialogue between Laura and her mother about her wanting to make a change. Her life is good but she's bored. "I'm 31 years old!" At some point I'm concerned about getting in trouble for doing the group after my license is expired. I think about using a generic title that doesn't require one. Jenny is planning a trip to London, England. I'm thinking it will be my 3rd visit.

My thought process is a prominent aspect of this dream. It reflects my present life after retirement. What am I doing with myself, with knowledge, skills and understanding gained during my professional career? Laura represents relationship- how am I connecting with other people? Noteworthy coincidence: Another good and dear friend named Laura is undergoing surgery today for colon cancer. She messaged me her prognosis is excellent. Prayers for her well-being.

Realistic dream from this morning

I was with Robert Cook and Ginger Adams Suarez in a large room at a day program of some kind, perhaps it was a senior citizens center. It's not clear why we were there but it seems to have been voluntary. No authority figures were in evidence. We were practicing for a presentation of some kind where our part was to sing choruses of "Under the sea." Ginger had a little cassette recorder we were listening to. Ginger played the tape but the song wasn't the familiar version from Disney's film "The little mermaid" where it was a sung by Sebastian the Crab. There was a long intro with instrumental sections between verses. I was listening for choruses that never happened. I commented perhaps it was a recording of a live production. I was somewhat concerned about being unprepared for the presentation and being embarrassed by doing poorly. Then, Ginger informed us she had to leave early this day for an appointment. I questioned her about that and when she was vague about it I jokingly said, "So you have a date?" She said no with a bemused smirk. I thought about asking Robert if he wanted to go with me and see where I lived. A group of school age girls was sitting around long tables. One girl had a batch of pastries and coffee cakes. I looked at them and thought about asking her for one but didn't.

My thoughts about the dream:  It reflects my current life (being retired and free to do as I wish; engaging in activities that are more about staying engaged rather than producing significant results; feeling disorganized and aimless) and my concerns about aging. Robert and Ginger are in Owen's Geopolitical Analysis Group on Facebook. Robert is a nearly homeless artist. Ginger is my high school girlfriend who is still a good friend via social media. The connection between the three of us feels comfortable and natural. The setting is reminiscent of Baton Rouge Council on Aging where the BR Stamp Club used to meet. We are working on something that seems lacking in importance other than providing entertainment to an audience.  I'm concerned about the social impression we'll make if we are disorganized and awkward in front of an audience. It's not clear who that audience will be; but, my anxiety is about me rather than the specific audience.  

Here I am

This morning I'm back at Dr. Fivgas' office waiting to see him. On Wednesday I'll be in Naples, Florida for a presurgical appointment with Dr. William Smiddy ahead of procedure #6 on Thursday to remove scar tissue behind the artificial lens in my left eye that blocks light from reaching my retina and also prevents fluid from circulating in that eye, resulting in zero intraocular pressure. My hope is the procedure will restore fluid circulation and allow a determination of whether the retina can still produce useful vision. However, Dr. Smiddy intends to inject clear silicone oil again to prevent collapse of the eyeball. The oil will cause distortion in whatever vision the retina generates.Thus, in the best case scenario, I still won't have useful vision in my left eye. Why do it? I won't end up any worse visually and it might result in some degree of improvement. I don't want to give up before I've played all my cards.

Jane Kelley is flying down on Wednesday to accompany me during and after the procedure at my expense. It's very kind of Jane who has been spending time with us almosr every day since she came out of alcohol rehab recently. She's been very pleasant and helpful. She, Mary Lou and I watch BBC detective shows (Inspector  Lewis, Midsomer Murders and Vera) in the evenings. I print out cast lists from IMDB for them so we can keep the characters straight.

We go high

I think it's important not to mock Republicans who become infected due to disregarding the experts on COVID safety. My advice is ventilate in private (no pun intended) and go high on social media. Don't feed the toxic divisions in the body politic. 😷✌