Saturday, March 23, 2024

What happened when I took half of a cannabis gummi and FaceTimed a friend

1) My thought process was severely disrupted. I couldn't hold pieces of the conversation in immediate memory. As soon as a sentence or two passed by, they disappeared the next moment, taking along with them the context of the dialog. It all just went, "Poof!" Sometimes the stream would abruptly jump ahead to a later moment completely different from the last one I remembered. Obviously, I missed whatever occurred between the two moments. It was disconcerting and frustrating. But, I understood this was the effect of the Gummi and it would wear off soon eough.

2) I felt emotionally disconnected and distant from you. I couldn't follow your stream of conversation and I was concerned because I couldn't listen and respond as is normal for me. I felt I was neither contributing to the conversation nor listening effectively (which was true) and wondered why you wanted to continue talking to me. At best, I felt I was being passive and boring. 

3) I mostly felt I was coming across very strangely and it was obvious to you and would cause you concern about my mental state and want to end the conversation (which is a normal reaction if you're talking to someone who seems "off." I wanted to reassure you it was all OK. 

4) Your visual image on my phone seemed slightly distorted which also was uncomfortable. You didn't look to me like yourself. Drugs, picture quality or both?

5) I had great difficulty expressing myself when I felt the need.

6) My concern about appearing to be confused was realistic. I really was cognitively impaired. Your telling me I seemed basically OK was reassuring but very surprising. The truth is, I couldn't perceive you, me and the situation clearly. 

7) Despite all my worries, I stayed calm and I wasn't afraid of what my brain was doing. My predominant feelings were frustration and concern about how you might be perceiving me. I was amazed to hear you couldn't tell I was working with a lot of difficulty on the inside to think clearly and understand what you were saying.

8) Despite all that, I remember discussing important matters and clarifying my understanding. This was very helpful to me.

9) You're usually the vulnerable one but this time I was. Your sensitivity and concern were much appreciated. 

Saturday, March 16, 2024

My visit with Lauren in Pittsburgh

I'm on my way home now, currently in a 4 hours layover at Washington-Reagan Airport. Cutting to the chase, I had a wonderful weeklong visit. Lauren assigned me the third floor bedroom in her house along with the bathroom and studio room on the same floor. Her friends Travis and Ira stay at her house regularly along with their three cats and a corgi named Ama. I had only had brief contact with them prior to this visit. Ira was away in Chicago for the first few days. Travis is a very kind and considerate person as well as being very intelligent and thoughtful. He works for the USPS as a letter carrier.  Travis prepared some very tasty vegan dishes for us several times.  I got Lauren and Travis to practice singing "She loves you," which I'm working on for the Silver Moondogs. We also sang "Futz said July" which is a fabulous song by the defunct Mobile, Alabama band Pain. Jenny first heard it when she was attending ASMS in Mobile. The song is extremely clever and funny as well as ridiculously catchy. Ira is also a kind, intelligent, thoughtful individual. They are the only person I've known who uses They/Them pronouns and it was difficult for me to overcome a lifetime of socialization and to use them consistently. I told them I respect their choices and was trying to reflect that in referring to Ira as they and them. I started to write "referring to her as..." which would defeat the purpose entirely. 

Lauren and I started watching Season One of Only Murders in the Building,  an excellent comedy series starring Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez and finished it last night. We started the 2009 film Watchmen this morning after going out to breakfast at a Square Cafe near the Google offices in a former Nabisco factory.  I saw Watchmen on TV not long after it was released and remembered it as one of my favorite movies ever.  I'd forgotten a lot but I saw why I liked it so much. 

Saturday, March 9, 2024

Pittsburgh

I'm on my way to visit Lauren in Pittsburgh. I last saw her a year ago when she was closing on her house. Since then, Lauren being Lauren, I've spoken to her maybe 4 or 5 times. I call and she seldom answers, so I leave messages so she'll know I think about her. It's a little sad because she's such a delight but neither of us are big phone people. But we care about one another and we both know it, so it's OK. 

I have a number going on I should be writing about here. Have I mentioned I'm playing in two groups? In case I haven't, I was recruited out of the blue by Natalie Sharp, a talented singer, for a Swamp Pop group. Then, guy who saw my profile on Bandmix contacted me about being the third person in an acoustic all Beatles trio! The idea was intriguing and I'm glad I decided to give it a try. All the people in both groups are good musicians and pleasant individuals. I'm bringing my Gibson acoustic guitar to Pittsburgh so I can practice while Lauren is working. 

The other major news item is I've finally gotten to work on the family archives that have been passed down to me. These include numerous letters, documents and photographs from both the Scott and Reeder sides of the family.