Still dreaming

I woke up at 330am on Sunday morning and felt alert; so, I got up and ate a bowl of raisin bran. I read some articles and then went back to bed where I slept until 830am. I recalled a dream from the second sleep period. I was trying to organize and hold a group therapy session at what appeared to be a strip mall. It seems "we" had given up our office space so I was trying to set up for the group outside on the sidewalks. About 15 people showed up and the initial space was cramped. I decided to break the people into two groups and work with the second set later. To start with the smaller group, I asked if anyone had tested positive for COVID-19. Two men sitting together on my left said yes. "How long ago were you tested?" I asked, trying to determine if they would put the other group members in danger The answers suggested it had been several weeks earlier but I wasn't quite sure so I asked them again. That was where the dream ended.

 Now, it's 2am on Monday. My watch says I went to sleep at 1004pm which seems right. I work up maybe 45 minutes ago and started thinking about an Instagram post I sent to TDW, wondering if she found it stressful rather than inspiring. As sometimes happens, I'm afraid to find out so I haven't looked at Instagram. Usually I'm very good at matching posts I find to friends of mine who will appreciate them.

My ongoing searching and fearless moral inventory. One line of thought I went through had to do with my need to know something I did had a positive impact on someone I care about so that they love and admire me above others. It's my way to feel special and that I'm using my life to do good instead of being selfish at the expense of others. I'm scrupulous about not thinking this makes me essentially better than others but considering I just understand better how to live wisely and compassionately. Hopefully, all of this will stave off God's wrath on me, which my intellectual self doesn't believe is likely unless God turns out to be like an angry, judgmental human being lacking the kind of thoughtful caring that I practice.

The State of Louisiana is going to start allowing elective surgeries starting today (Monday, April 27). My next (and hopefully last) retina surgery has been on hold due to the COVID-19 lockdown. I'm going to call and see if I can confer with Dr. Fivgas on my status. I'd like to get it done while I'm staying at home practicing social distancing during the recovery period. I've gotten by on one eye for over a year now and I would like to get the treatment process on my left eye moving toward a conclusion, one way or the other. I'm also thinking about doing one more livestream concert before Cody, Maureen, and Regina return to Dallas on Thursday. The idea occurred to me of performing The gods in the basement, one of my earliest compositions and one I don't remember doing for an audience to date. That ran through my mind, too, before I got up to eat raisin bran and finish this blog post.