A critical factor in my success in this life has been my ability to make myself do things I didn't want to do because it was in my best interests. In some cases it was something I found boring or aversive and in others it was something that aroused anticipatory anxiety. Either way, I toughed it out and managed to arrive here with all the advantages I've listed in my posts and am highly aware of each day.
Given all that, a thought came to me regarding my difficulty getting myself to do things I've also mentioned that are meaningful and that I generally enjoy and feel positively about. I wonder if the factor behind both doing those unrewarding things and not doing the rewarding ones is necessity. At this point in my life and most likely from here until the end, there's very little I must do to maintain the security of my situation. I'm free to do or not do. Necessity may not only be the mother of invention- perhaps in my case it's also the prod that gets me moving.
I have a second idea, as well. Perhaps when I was working under pressure each day out of necessity, it was more important to have the positive activities in order to cope with the stress. The diminishment of necessity may have removed the fuel that kept the machine running.
And there's a third factor. I have two competing attitudes about getting myself to do more. The strongest one is I should be maximizing my time here on earth. That is a shaming thought and I well know that shaming is more likely to inhibit performance than to enhance it.
The alternative thought is It doesn't matter if I do or don't do more. That one is a defeatist cognition that also tends to undermine my initiative.
So, what about trying this one: I will only do more if I want to for positive reasons. If I do it's OK and if I don't it's also OK. That line of thought is the most wise based on my life experiences.
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